When it comes to relationships, are you
in a rush to find “the one” or do you simply take life as it comes and believe
your soul mate will come into your life when it’s meant to be? How I
Met Your Mother’s characters, and best friends, Ted Mosby and Barney
Stinson have these differing views on relationships. While Ted would rather settle down and find
his soul mate, Barney despises commitment and sleeps around to avoid
relationships. Although Ted and Barney
have contrasting relational values and perform their masculinity in different
ways, they do share one thing in common: their love for Robin Scherbatsky.
The CBS comedy sitcom How I Met Your Mother shares the stories
of Ted’s ambitious search to find his soul mate and future wife. The show takes place in the year 2030, with each episode presented as a
flashback in which Ted narrates to his children the events that lead to him
finally meeting their mother. While Ted’s performance of masculinity reflects
his desire to always be in a relationship and find his soul mate, Barney
performs his masculinity in a way that shows he could care less about dating, relationships, and the feelings of women in general. Both of these contrasting approaches to masculinity are
shared through many hilarious and comedic tales.
Throughout the duration of the series, Ted enters many relationships in the hopes of finding his true love. He is very impatient and always seems to be in a rush to settle down, marry, and start a family. In the very first episode of the entire series, he accidentally professes his love for Robin Scherbatsky on their first date. This of course scares her away for the time being, however Ted eventually goes on to date her in the future, as he believes she is “the one”. As Ted enters relationships with new women it’s hard for him to let go of the past and completely move on from Robin. When his relationship with a baker named Victoria in season 1 turns into long distance, he immediately calls it quits so he can get back with Robin. Nevertheless, Ted and Robin end up breaking up again as they go their separate ways.
Some of the other women Ted dates
include Stella, who he actually proposed to, Zoey, and Jeannete. Although being in a relationship is the norm
for Ted, there are times when he is single, and it usually results in him
feeling very unhappy and helpless. For
example, during the 5th season he goes off the rails and completely
overreacts after the discovery that his mom is getting remarried. As he recounts the story to his kids he says,
“I can’t overstate how horrible it is to be a single guy at your own mother’s
second wedding” (“Home Wreckers”, 2010).
Feeling behind in his life, he buys a house on impulse to serve as the
home for his future family. His
overreaction reinforces the fact that he has an inherent need to be in a
relationship and find his future wife.
Barney, on the other hand, performs his
masculinity in a very different and absurd way.
While Ted experiences the many highs and lows of relationships, Barney
does everything in his power to avoid commitment and dating. He is very self-centered, narcissistic, and
doesn’t care about women’s feelings.
Weinman describes him as a “playboy who
cares more about his beautifully tailored clothes than the women he dates”
(Weinman, 2006). Throughout the series,
he is best known for sleeping with multiple women and feeling a sense of
accomplishment for it. He often takes on
ridiculous challenges, some of which include sleeping with his friend’s
professor and picking up a girl by talking like a little kid.
One of Barney’s most famous and
“legendary” techniques to picking up women is the use of his Playbook. The Playbook is a collection of crazy
strategies, most of which include lying about his identity in order to sleep
with women. He even goes as far as
changing his identity to a brunette cab driver or a street performing knife
thrower just to score more women. He has
no intentions of getting to know the women he sleeps with and only treats them
as objects or accessories.
Even though Ted and Barney differ
significantly in how they express their masculinity through relationships and
dating, they do share a love for Robin. During
the 5th season in episode “Twin Beds”, Ted and Barney both realize that
they are in love with Robin and they fight over which one deserves her. Barney offers his brilliant solution to the
problem, which is “how about we share her. I’ll take her until she’s 40, and
then you can have her after that” (“Twin Beds”, 2010). Ever since Ted laid eyes
on Robin, he has never been able to let her go.
And although Barney is known for sleeping around with women instead of
actually dating them, Robin is the one woman who he would settle down for. You would think that Ted would successfully
win over Robin based on his relational history and how he respectfully treats
women, but Barney actually does and they become engaged in the 8th
season.
How
I Met Your Mother’s characters Ted and Barney choose to perform their
masculinity in extremely different ways.
Ted is eager to start his future and dates many women with the hope of
finding his soul mate. He treats women
with respect and truly cares about their feelings. On the contrary, Barney only cares about
himself and chooses to treat women disrespectfully. His only objective is to sleep with as many
women as possible and to avoid dating at all costs. But of course the one woman Barney can see
himself dating and eventually marrying happens to be the same woman Ted is in
love with: Robin.
How I Met Your Mother “Home Wreckers” (originally aired April
19, 2010)
How I Met Your Mother “Twin Beds” (originally aired May 3,
2010)
Weinman, Jaime J. "Why
Barney Is The New Fonzie." Maclean's 119.51 (2006): 54. Film
& Television Literature Index. Web. 25 Mar. 2014.
I've seen a number of seasons of HIMYM and really enjoyed it. I also think that it is interesting that although Barney and Ted have completely different views on women that they end up falling for the same woman (Robin). However, I think this is why HIMYM is so entertaining. Friends had a similar thing when Joey ended up falling for Rachel for a couple of episodes although Ross had always had a thing for her and besides the fact that Joey and Ross are parallels to Barney and Ted.
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